Sometimes (but rarely, I think) His answer is the one we want or expect (in other words, an unqualified “yes”). But when the answer is “no,” we fail to recognize it. Sometimes the answer is a provisional “yes” (i.e. “yes” to this or that aspect of the prayer request but “no” to others; or “yes”—but not yet, the time isn’t right). The reason a straight-forward and immediate “yes” is so rare is not that God doesn’t want to help us or give us good things, but that we usually don’t know what is best for us or for others and consequently ask for the wrong thing (or expect Him to do something in a particular way or in a particular time frame). But God sees the “Big Picture” that we can’t see because of our limitations, and He loves us more than we can possibly love ourselves, and so the answers almost always take us completely by surprise. Sometimes God will “compromise” with us. He may go ahead and give us what we ask for (so long as it is not something evil in and of itself) even though it might have a short-term harmful effect in order to teach us a valuable lesson in trust or humility or some other virtue. In short, He may let us have our own way for a while in order that we may learn from the mistake and become better for it in the long run. But if we truly want to do His will and if we “keep our eyes peeled” for the clues he sends us, it is amazing how close we can come in understanding His will (or “hearing His voice”) much of the time.
How does the answer come? How does God “talk” to us? Like the solution to the riddle Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep? [Anywhere he wants], God, being God, can do what He wants and talk to us any way He wants. But normally He manifests His will to us (and answers our prayers) in the ordinary natural circumstances of our lives. Don’t expect to hear an audible voice from the sky (or a voice in your head) speaking actual words—although He could (and sometimes does) do it that way. It can come in such forms as an “uncanny coincidence,” a stranger’s offhanded remark, an unexpected call from a forgotten friend, a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach (although that might also be indigestion, so you have to be careful in your discernment), or a persistent mental feeling or “image.” Quite often, it’s a prompting of your conscience (that little “alarm” bell God puts into every soul) or your guardian angel (yes, everybody has one) that “whispers” in your mind’s ear, “Um … I really shouldn’t be doing this …” or “Stop being so selfish …” or “Send your old Aunt Margaret a check for $350.00” (it happens). Sometimes it comes in the form of unexpected news that a distant cousin or childhood friend was killed in a car accident or died of cancer. Or perhaps a prompting to pick up, dust off and finally read that book someone gave you 10 years ago but you never found the time … It can come with the suddenness of lightning or gradually play out and solidify over a period of many years. (Or it can come with the suddenness of lightning after many years of persistent prayer.) It could be a passage in the Bible that jumps out at you from the page, or a line from a sermon that seems directed to you alone.
It doesn’t usually come in the form of a winning lottery ticket, although I suppose that’s still possible … (Believe me, I’ve tried!)
I am convinced that my wife was the answer to a very specific prayer I vividly remember uttering in one moment of deep emotional anguish (almost despair) I experienced a year or so before I met her: “Oh God! Send me someone I can truly love!” And he did. (It was weird how it all worked out.) That was almost 20 years ago.
He speaks to us in a Big way through His personally appointed means: the living Magisterium and ministry of the Catholic Church. This fact is frequently a real stumbling block for many people, both inside and outside of the Church’s visible communion. Most people don’t want to listen to the Church. But it is still God’s specially chosen (appointed) instrument of salvation to which He gave the authority to speak in His name until the end of time.
- “You are Peter [Aramaic: Kepha] and upon this rock [kepha] I will build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (Matt. 16:18-19; cf. Isaiah 22:22)
- Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs” … “Tend my sheep.” … “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)
- “He who hears you hears me, and he who rejects you rejects me, and he who rejects me rejects Him who sent me.” (Lk 10:16; cf. Matt 10:40)
- Jesus said to the paralytic, “…your sins are forgiven.” “…Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins”—He then said to the paralytic—“Rise, take up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. … And they glorified God, who had given such authority to men. (Matt. 9:2-8; emphasis mine)
- Jesus said to [the apostles] again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (John 20:21-23)
- “[Father,] sanctify them in the truth; thy word is truth. As thou didst send me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be consecrated in the truth. I do not pray for these [the apostles] only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one; even as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one…” (John 17:17-23; emphasis mine)
- And Jesus came and said to them [the eleven apostles—Judas Iscariot was dead], “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age.” (Matt 28:18-20)
- And we also thank God constantly for this, that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men but as what it really is, the word of God. (1 Thes 2:13; emphasis mine)
- This is good, and it is acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony to which was borne at the proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and apostle … a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. (1 Tim 2:3-7)
- I am writing these instructions to you so that … you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth. (ibid. 3:14-15)
- You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me before many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. (2 Tim 2:1-2; an allusion to apostolic succession)
- For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men … Declare these things; exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you. (Titus 2:11-15)
These scriptural passages indicate that God’s (ordinary) prophetic voice is the Church. But most folks find that too hard to swallow and usually refuse to accept (for whatever reason, and it might not be entirely their own fault) that the Church actually speaks for God today, or even that God has anything whatsoever to do with the Catholic Church. That’s okay too, because God knows each one of us intimately (because He made us and understands us thoroughly) and He knows the best way to approach us and speaks to us in ways he knows we can understand. We call this “actual grace,” and everybody receives it, whatever the state of his soul. As long as a person hasn’t shut God completely out of his life and awareness, as long as there is the slightest “crack” in his resistance to Him, He will send him some hint, some light, some clue, some answer that will turn him in the right direction. God always accepts us where we are, but He loves us too much to leave us where he finds us. He moves us along according to His particular will for our individual lives.
God never abandons us. If anything, it is we who abandon Him, but still He pursues us (He has been called “the Hound of heaven” who tracks us down and finds us no matter where we try to hide from Him).
Prayer
Prayer doesn’t change God. It changes us. We can never bend God to our will. And God can’t be bribed, so don’t try. We cannot “dictate terms” to God. Prayer is a type of request, never a demand. When we demand something of God, we are setting up our wills in opposition to His, and more likely than not He’ll sit back and let us cool our heels until we come to our senses.
Prayer can be defined as some level of interpersonal communion with God. Whenever we pray (in earnest) we are “tuning in” to His grace, His will, and we are changed for the better by exposing our souls to the radiance of His love. If in our prayer we are “asking God for something” (called prayer of petition), and our request is granted (usually in a way better than we could have imagined), that doesn’t mean that God “changed His mind” and decided to help us. Rather, He sees and hears our prayer in time from His perspective in the timelessness of eternity. Our perspective is stuck in time, but He sees all of time “from the foundation of the world”—all at once. You might say (without putting too fine a theological point on it) that He intended to help us all along—but only if we prayed. So He didn’t change at all, anymore than the landscape changes when we drive out of the mountains onto the plain. It was we who changed by turning to Him in our need. Another example: if the seasons change in Montana, it is because of the change in relationship of position between the earth and the sun. We experience the change on earth, but the sun didn’t change at all! God’s will is like the sun in this respect.
When we pray for someone else (this is called intercession) there is always the chance that although God showers every grace upon that individual, the person may have shut himself off from the operation of that grace by the exercise of his own free will. I believe this is most often the reason it can seem to take so long for God to “answer our prayers.” He accedes to our prayer requests (in a manner according to His own will and counsel) all the while working on the other person through the circumstances of his life. By our perseverance in prayer, even when it seems like “nothing is happening” and we are tempted to think that God is “ignoring us,” still His grace is working. We are growing in our love of God and perhaps insight into His will, strength of faith, compassion for our neighbor, and the exercise of all the other virtues. All because we prayed. Even if the other person never opens himself up to God (so that God can heal the situation that was the occasion for our prayer in the first place), grace is still at work on our account and we will be given the consolation and assurance that God’s will (at least His permissive will) is being done, and much greater good was achieved in the world, all on account of our prayer. This consolation may be the only answer we get in this life. If that is the case, we can also be assured that the full story will be disclosed to us in the life to come, and we will glorify Him in eternity for His justice, His mercy and His love.
Trust in the Lord always! God is good!
