This topic is a major stumbling block for many (perhaps most) non-Catholics. The problem arises because for most non-Catholics (with the exception of Eastern Orthodox and other schismatic churches and groups which retain valid priestly orders), the highest form of worship is prayer.
At a typical Evangelical Protestant worship service, for example, there are periods of singing, communal prayer (led by the pastor or some other minister), perhaps a time for some silent personal prayer, and the sermon (into which is usually incorporated some scriptural passages). During the service, the prayers are directed to the Heavenly Father, to Jesus, and perhaps on a rare occasion to the Holy Spirit—but always to God. Most Protestants would never dream of praying to anyone but God, because prayer is worship.
And a Catholic would agree—prayer directed to God is a form of worship. But for the Catholic, prayer is not the highest form of worship. The highest form of worship, as ordained by God Himself, is sacrifice. This was true of the Old Covenant with the Jews (which is why God (through Moses) went to such lengths to train the Jews in how to do it), and it is true of the New Covenant with the Church (in the holy sacrifice of the Mass, or the Eucharist). The Eucharistic sacrifice, we believe, is the same one, pure, eternal Sacrifice of Jesus Christ, offered “once, for all” (Rom 6:10; Heb 10:10; 1 Pet 3:18), and re-presented for us by the priest in an un-bloody manner, thus fulfilling the command of Christ, “Do this in remembrance of Me” (Lk 22:19; 1 Cor 11:24-25). (If there are any questions or comments on this, I can go deeper into the theology of the Eucharist, but this is enough for the moment.)
Protestants, on the other hand, have no sacrifice, since the Reformation did away (for the most part) with the ministerial priesthood. (The main function of a priest is to offer sacrifice.) So when it comes to worship, all they have is prayer.
But sometimes Catholics “pray to” Mary or another saint (or angel), and it is understandable that someone who doesn’t have the Catholic understanding of prayer might confuse this act with the act of worship. And of course worship (latria) of anyone or anything other than God constitutes the grave sin of idolatry.
We communicate with other human beings on earth by means of speech or some kind of writing or signals. We communicate with spirits by means of prayer (which can be either verbal [audible] or mental). God is spirit, but so too are the angels and the saints in heaven.
When we “pray” to a saint or one of the good angels, we are simply asking him (or her) either to pray to God on our behalf (i.e. to intercede for us), or to pray along with us to God. The New Testament enjoins us (or gives us an example) to pray for one another, and to ask others to pray for us (1 Thes 5:25; 2 Thes 3:1; Heb 13:18; James 5:16; etc.) Nowhere does the Bible say that those who have died in Christ (i.e., who are commonly called saints) are prevented from praying for us, or that we shouldn’t ask for their prayers. In fact, Revelation 5:8 and 8:3-4 depict the prayers of the saints being offered like incense by angels and the holy ones in heaven before the throne of God. These are the prayers of those on earth offered to God through the mediation of the angels and saints already in heaven. This mediation in no way detracts from the One Mediatorship of Christ (1 Tim 2:5), but rather participates in it, for we are members of His Body, the Church (1 Cor 12:25, 27). Each member of the body (whether on earth or in heaven) works together with the other members for the benefit of the whole body. The Church is also the family of God, and like the members of any family, we all communicate freely with one another and help each other any way we can.
I can’t imagine any Christian who, if asked, would simply refuse to pray for another Christian (or anyone else, for that matter). We here on earth are still hindered by the effects of our sinfulness. Those in heaven, however, are not. There is no sin in heaven and no sinful thing can enter it (cf. Rev 21:27). Those who have died in the grace of God are freed (or are in the process of being freed) from all sin and all its effects and see God face to face in unadulterated love. This love extends also to all He created, including the souls still struggling on earth with sin and its effects. We know, too, that the prayers of the just (or righteous) are very powerful (James 5:16). Those in heaven are more righteous than anyone still on earth. The pure prayers of the saints before the throne of God are of tremendous help to us here below. Why would they, now perfected in charity, not ardently desire to continue praying for us? Why should we not avail ourselves of their powerful intercession and assistance?
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